Educating children is not easy, and there are times when parents resort to threats when they are so frustrated at their children’s disobedience that they no longer know what else to do. The threats are the result of desperation regarding the education of children, but in reality, they are useless and, in the long term, can cause problems in the education of children.
Threats are useful while children are scared, but as they grow older and lose it, they will no longer be of any use. And the worst thing is not only the use of threat, but respect between parents and children will be conspicuous by its absence. Parents who use them normally is because they have lost control and do not know how to act otherwise.
When you are a parent, you don’t have an instruction manual; you do your best, although it is not always how you would like. Sometimes due to stress, fatigue, lack of time … education towards children can seem a bit tense. But it is necessary to bear in mind that the threats are aggressive and no type of aggression, physical or verbal, is suitable for the education of children.
Threats are a form of mistreatment towards children or towards any person to whom they are told. Threats are often accompanied by profanity or passive-aggressive words that greatly hurt children and affect their behavior. Fathers and mothers think it gives them authority, but it doesn’t really work in the long run. The only thing that this type of resource achieves is that children disconnect emotionally from their parents, hurt their self-esteem, and worst … That there is no mutual respect.
Consequences of using threats
If you use threats in your children’s education in the long run, you will have consequences, and you will regret using them. So that you do not regret it when it is late, it is better that you know what happens when you threaten your children:
- You affect your child’s self-esteem, and he will misbehave. You don’t feel valued, and rebellious and defiant behavior will be the order of the day.
- You will cause stress in your children, and you will affect their personality.
- Your child will not be a responsible person because threats do not teach responsibility; he will only have learned to avoid punishment, not to act correctly in an intrinsic way.
- The child will learn that aggressive behavior is a normal and correct way of relating to others.
- You will not have authority as a father or mother.
Alternatives to threats
The first thing to keep in mind when you want to prevent your children from growing up with the consequences described in the previous point is to find a way for your children to cooperate at home in any situation. Cooperation is essential, and for this, you will always have to offer them options so that they feel that they are part of the decisions and that they also see that their opinion is valid.
In this way, children will respect you and also cooperate more actively and will pay attention to what you tell them because they will feel you are part of their team and not like the enemy that must be avoided because otherwise, it hurts them. Remember that as a parent, it is necessary that respect be mutual and is only achieved with trust and good manners. Authority and fear are not synonymous, and if you want to educate with fear, your children will not be able to have a good emotional bond with you.
Use loving and positive words so your child can get emotionally close to you every time you talk to him. Avoid the anger, yelling, or bad manners that scare and hurt children so much. Always put yourself in your child’s shoes so that you discover how he may be feeling.